


forbidden love

by lunawolf8074



Series: dwarf shorts [6]
Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Confessions, M/M, Unrequited Love, implied Durincest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-07
Updated: 2015-10-07
Packaged: 2018-04-25 08:23:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,468
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4953235
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lunawolf8074/pseuds/lunawolf8074
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>fili finds out that his brother has secretly loved him all these years..what will they do now.</p>
            </blockquote>





	forbidden love

**Author's Note:**

> the song in this is Resistance by Muse..i listened to this while writing and it is what they both sing to one another...so when you read this maybe listen to that song also, it adds a new element to the story that is really cool.

Set 3 years after Erebor...no one died.

Kili sat up there upon his stool at the BAR COUNTER nursing his fourth ale of that night..wishing the ale would numb the pain within his chest...knowing there was not enough ale in all of middle earth to truly do that. Occasionally his eyes would stray away from his mug to peer across the room at the source of his misery..Fili, his brother..the one he was secretly in love with since they were children. Fili was standing over by one of the tables in this tavern of Dale..throwing his head back in laughter over something the woman next to him had said. With each laugh a sharp pain in his heart would shoot through as if a dagger was being stabbed into the tormented organ..over and over with each sound of hers. Kilis hands would grip his mug tighter as he wrenched his eyes away once again in an attempt to not watch his brothers blatent flirting with the dark haired wench.

As Kili was peering down into his drink his mind focused on all the years they have been together at each others side..fighting, eating, drinking...sleeping. Most of his life has been right by Filis side even as they slept..since he was born they both always seem to have problems being APART. In Ered Luin, they shared a room and a bed, bringing comfort to one another whenever bad dreams visited..bringing solace to both whenever thier father had passed on to Mahals side..they were there together for each of lifes victories and failures...always together. Through it all Kili harboured one secret from Fili within him self..afraid to share this shame with his elder. He had always secretly been in love with Fili and he knew that he was Kilis one love..even though Fili was his brother and everyone knew this kind of love was unacceptable amongst dwarves. Dont you know only those males who are sick and disgustingly dirty in the head would ever want to be with another male in such a fashion...doublely so if it was of your own blood. It was forbidden since there could never be any offspring from such a union...so any who partook of such pairings were outcast from the clans.

For years Kili concealed this dirty dark secret from Fili, praying he would never find out about it...afraid if he ever did then Filis eyes would only look upon him forever in disgust and thier relationship would be gone. He couldnt live with that if it ever happened, so he kept it hidden deep for the last 80 years. It wasnt easy but he made sure his back was always to Filis back in the mornings so the evidence of his desire wasnt noticible to the elder..always resisting the longing urge to just roll over and snuggle into Filis warmth..inhaling his personal scent that smelled of savannah grass at the hieght of summer and the rich earth it grew from.

Kilis thoughts were disturbed by the ringing laughter of that woman Fili was flirting with and he turned around with his mug in hand to see what his gorgeous tawney brother had done to illicit such a laugh from her. Kili felt his heart plummet at the sight before. It seemed what had caused such a sound was Fili had wrapped his arms around her waist, dipping her backwards over his arm and wiggled his eyebrows all while leaning down to kiss her with his lush sculpted lips. In that moment Kili felt as if his world was shattering beneath him like the glass of ale that had slipped from his fingers to fall onto the the ground. The sound of breaking glass jarred him into motion and he swiftly fled the tavern ...racing out into the warm night. Kili could feel the tears trailing along his cheeks as he headed towards the stables where his mount was..hoping to escape from THE IMAGE that was burning into his mind..destroying any and all joy in him.

***************************************************

Fili was just about to touch his lips to the womans own in his arms, when glass shattering jerked his head up to its source..the sight of his brother fleeing out of the tavern. He quickly righted the woman..uttering an apology in her direction as he left to follow Kilis retreating form. As Fili dodged around chairs, making his way to the door, his thoughts wrapped around the last image he had..Kilis face..it looked as if he was in pain. Finally the warm night greeted him and he looked around for any sign of Kili..there, movement by the stables, so he ran in that direction. He knew something was wrong..he always knew..he believed you could always tell when a loved one was in pain. Fili loved his brother very much..more than he should. See he held a dark secret deep inside..one that could never see the light of day..one that would make him an outcast if ever uttered outloud. Fili hid his desires from everyone..even his closest companion, Kili. Each morning that they awoke..back to back..he fought to repress his every morning condition...thinking of vile things to quell his arousal , like cleaning latrines (which usually made it disappear ), before Kili could see. But it seemed fate was a cruel mistress, for early this day his uncle..the Erebor King Thorin..approached him , telling him that he had chosen Filis wife and future mother to the Erebor heirs. Fili stood in shock upon hearing this news...then Thorin delivered the final blow to Filis heart..she would be arriving within the week and then they would be married a few days after. So here he was now in this tavern to try stamping out his illicit feelings for Kili with this tavern wench..maybe in her arms he could banish this forbidden love within him. The problem was the woman looked very much like Kili..same dark hair and same dark brown eyes..but he knew in his heart she wasnt Kili no matter how hard he tried to make it so.

Finally Fili made it to the stable doors, where he could hear heartbroken cries coming from within...gently easing the door open enough to allow him entrance, but not enough for any one to see into the dimly lit stables. There clinging to a wooden enclosure of one of the stalls was Kili, shoulders shaking as he cried. Fili rushed over to his brother, laying a hand upon his shoulder as he called Kilis name..not expecting him to spin around into him..thumping his fists into Filis chest as the tears streaked down his face.

"Why! Why!" he sobbed." Why did it have to be you?" Kili growled into Filis chest as he gripped the confused elders shirt in his fists..eyes filled with agony as the tears poured down his cheeks to fall upon the straw floor. Fili was startled bt Kilis actions and words, not knowing what brought all of this on..aching to fix this for him. It pained fili to see the anguish written there upon Kilis face..stealing that special smile of his that could light a room as if the sun was shining out..he so desperately yearned to see it once again.

"Brother? I dont understand..please tell me whats wrong. Did someone hurt you? That must be it..Who? They will pay for touching you." Fili didnt even wait to hear Kilis reply to any of his questions, he just turned away to go back to the tavern to beat whomever had upset his beautiful brother...but before he made it to the doors Kilis words stopped him cold.

"You! Thats who." Kili shouted at Filis back that went ramrod straight as he stood there in shock at those words. Kili buried his face in his hands in shame over his outburst as he sobbed his heart out. Kili couldnt look at his brothers face..his knees quaked under him. Suddenly hands were upon his shoulders pulling him into a hard chest, filling his nose with Filis warm earthy scent..he cried harder as he felt the others hand cupping the back of his head..softly stroking it as the owners warm voice murmured into his ears.

"Shhh..my little bird." Fili used the nickname he had long ago given to Kili when they were but children. Kili was like a bird, wild and free..full of life and song, to fili...so he gave him that endearment. "Please tell me how I hurt you and I will correct it ..promise my little bird." he soothingly spoke to the sniffling dark haired prince that was still shaking in his arms..unsure if he would answer.

"I cant." Kili wailed into Filis shirt for a moment. "If you knew then you would surely hate me forever." he clung tighter to the shirt as Fili sighed heavily.

"There is nothing you can say that will make me hate you..ever. I..I..I love you to much little bird to ever hate you." There fili said it..it was out in the open now..he knew now Kili would hate him..he would be disgusted by such a creature that had shared his bed all these years. Fili could feel Kili stiffening in his arms and he knew if he looked down at his brother there would be horror there in those brown eyes. He feared that most of all but as a true prince he couldnt hide from this he had to face it head on...but to his astonishment all he saw when he looked down was hopeful disbelief written there.

"Fili? You.. you love me too?" Kili stuttered out. Fili was about to say ~ of course. Im your brother~ but something in Kilis eyes stopped him and made him realize that what Kili was saying was not that he loved him as a brother..but more. Fili pulled Kili close to his chest, hard, as his voice echoed softly into Kilis ears..the rumbling within his chest flowing into his brothers frame as he tightly grasped Kili to him tightly...he was thinking outloud.

* Is our secret safe tonight?

And are we out of sight?

Or will our world come tumbling down?

will they find out hiding place?

is this our last embrace?

*or will the walls start caving in?

Fili and Kili leaned away from each other..not leaving the others embrace as they stared into each others eyes. Both knowing what they are saying to each other outloud was dangerous if any one should hear..both wavering between what they know is utterly wrong and yet feeling it was right. Kili tried to be the voice of reason while fili voiced his yearning.

*kili* (it could be wrong. could be wrong)

*fili* but it shouldve been right

(it could be wrong, could be wrong)

let our hearts ignite

(it could be wrong, could be wrong)

are we digging a hole?

(it could be wrong, could be wrong)

this is outta control

(it could be wrong, could be wrong)

it could never last

(it could be wrong, could be wrong)

must erase it fast

(it could be wrong, could be wrong)

but it couldve been right

*(it could be wrong, could be)

Fili grasped Kilis shoulders within his strong hands as he intensely gazes into Kilis brown eyes..pleading for a brief moment with his azure blues.

* love is our resistance

they keep us apart and they wont stop breaking us down

*and hold me, our lips must always be sealed

Suddenly Fili wrenches himself away from Kili, fighting what he feels inside as he wanders around the stables..not seeing his surroundings but what his heart if feeling. He stops next to Kili briefly to take ahold of his face between his hands.

*If we live our life in fear

ill wait a thousand years

just to see you smile again

quell your prayers for love and peace

youll wake the thought police

*we can hide the truth inside

Fili drops his hands away from Kili and turns his back to his brother..once again trying to resist what he is feeling for Kili each time he looks into those warm chocolate eyes of his. Fili knows he is not strong as he should be for the both of thier sakes...Kilis arms wrap around him from behind, clutching fili tight to him as Kili rests his head between filis shoulder blades. Filis resolve weakens to the point of shattering as he hangs his head low attempting to be the voice of reason.

*fili* (it could be wrong , could be wrong)

*kili* but it shouldve been right

(it could be wrong, could be wrong)

let our hearts ignite

(it could be wrong, could be wrong)

are we digging a hole?

(it could be wrong, could be wrong)

this is outta control

(it could be wrong , could be wrong)

it could never last

(it could be wrong, could be wrong)

must erase it fast

(it could be wrong, could be wrong)

but it shouldve been right

*(it could be wrong, could be)

In that moment Kili feels Filis resolve break in his arms as he turns to wrap his forge hardened arms around the dark haired archers body as they both speak together..sharing one voice like they have always done.

* love is our resistance

they keep us apart and wont stop breaking us down

*and hold me, our lips must always be sealed.

Suddenly Filis eyes focuses upon the horses neighing in their stalls and letting go of Kili he leads him towards them, knowing what their only choice that is left for them. They both began to saddle the pony together as they voice in agreement the path before them.

*the night has reached its end

we cant pretend

we must run

we must run

*its time to run

They both pull themselves onto the mounts back with Kili wrapping his arms around filis waist..tenderly resting his head against filis neck..breathing in his scent he loves so much...feeling his heart swell with love he knows is returned in equal measure now.

*Take us away from here

protect us from further harm

* resistance.

With that heartfelt prayer to the heavens, Fili kicked the pony into motion..racing out into the night away from Erebor and all those who would try to destroy this precious GIFT between them. They never looked back..not once from that night on..abandoning everything for their forbidden love of each other.


End file.
